"i want to believe the things that i tell everyone about myself. i want to actually believe that i am going to be successful, that i deserve anything in this world, that i am beautiful or smart or funny or anything. i want to believe that i can be happy without the help of some ridiculous pill, that it’s all in my control, i just have to be better in one way or another, stop being so obsessive, or overanalytical, or anti-social, or whatever it is. and then, also, i’m absolutely petrified of being “fixed,” so to speak, because, in many ways, depression is my closest friend, closer to me than anyone else has ever gotten, will ever get. it’s the only real friend i have ever had."
— via one long longing [someone mentioned this to me tonight, b/c i linked to it from the glee recap. sometimes it’s good to read these things and feel like i’ve made some progress on something] (via autostraddle)
